Christian found herself in a turmoil of emotions. She's watching Jessica pack up all of her toiletries and trappings from the bathroom. She has been singing all morning. Jessica always sang as a way to relieve stress or hide how pissed she really is in the moment. Christian knew she was in trouble the moment she began to sing in Spanish. That was the sign she was hitting the boiling point. Here she was not knowing where to go next. What to do next? That moment they let all the walls crumble between them like old times marked them for the end. Or was she thinking about this all wrong? This could easily be the beginning of something new and wondrous. Knowing her old friend and lover the way she did, disastrous was more likely. The way they ripped each other apart from the core was so intense and addicting. The way Jessica tugs at her soul to then mend it with a touch isn't lost on Christian. It is the very reason she sought her out after all these years. There has never been anyone who's met every need within and without the way she has. So how does this distance change things for them. Them, Us, we, together...! Christian is already using the language that she has run from for so long. So many questions yet to ask. So many other decisions to make in the mean time. And her life choices, wow! That would change drastically in this moment. How does she even address this in therapy. How does one reevaluate such a decision? She has decided on something so major. Jessica was equally major in the distraction. Is that what this has become? Is she a distraction on this journey for the change? How does one figure this out with her so close? So near, right there, in her bathroom, seething, by the force of her words as she is singing......
Jessica can only blame herself for letting her guard down. She knew there was more at stake after spending all this time with her red haired lover. Nothing was ever easy when it came to them. Here she was, bruised, marked and battered from the inside out. Beating herself up for all the mistakes being made on a whim. On a vacation for crying out loud. How does she come here and tear down all the barriers that her old friend has spent years building. An image, an identity, to live with for life. How does she accept their end? How does she part ways knowing this could be the last time she'll ever kiss her Christian again? "Her Christian"! All of that ownership. Possession from days old doesn't seem fair anymore. Yet, it was her/him that took it all from her in the beginning. There is fault laid at both of their feet for this one. She's just hours from her flight. Nothing about this feels right. Nothing about this moment feels like it's at an end either. This moment pushes all the wrong buttons. The loss of control isn't what she likes or needs right now. Or is it? Maybe this moment is showing her exactly what she needs. The idea of losing control had her singing even louder. She felt Christian behind her. The feel of her hands on her hips, the nibble on her shoulder, the kiss to her neck and ears sent Jessica reeling. Being pulled in close with arms that have wrapped around her for years. Seeing that fire in those eyes staring back at her in the mirror matching her own. Feeling her teeth sink into the nape of her neck brought on the tears. The ache of her finger tips led her to those wondrous red curls of her lover. The build up washing away with a simple touch had Jessica's damn overflowing. She felt Christian pull away to leave her alone.
Christian continued to watch her pack in silence. Wishing she'd left her singing. At least she knew her mood by her words, her song. She sat at the piano to wash away all the emotions in music. Nothing came out right. So she braided her hair to kill the time. Cooking doesn't seem like a good idea with such short time. Hearing Jessica wheel out her luggage startled her. 'How about lunch Mon Ami? We can go to the Pakistani place you like so much before your flight. It's on the way.' She saw her nod in ascent. They loaded everything in the car. They checked to make sure nothing was left behind. Jessica inevitably left something behind. But checking one last time was a routine they shared. Christian felt her hand in Jessica's. She couldn't have been happier to lace her fingers with another. She could feel the smile spread across both of their faces. Watching her as she brought their linked hands to her lips for a kiss moved something within her. The passion, the heat, the love that pours from Jessica is like drowning in a pool. Christian happily sank into the warm spring.
Jessica is happy to have some physical distance between them. The energy they swap is always intense. Just having room to breathe will be enough to think clearly. Yet, she is thinking of all the tender places, bruises and bite marks all over her body. Knowing she'll be achy and tender tomorrow. Wallowing in the sensations and wetness this time off is going to bring. Jessica looked over at this beautiful woman. The smile she shoots back is radiant. What on earth has she done to them? How is she going to mend this fence now all the horses are free? Suddenly, the "right here, right now" seems like she shouldn't be leaving. But those questions needed to be asked and answered when they aren't within reach of the other. Jessica knows that all sorts of identity questions need to be handled. And she had to answer her own sexuality questions. Christian has always been a "need", an "ache". Now with parts in transition... How do you adjust? Is it necessary to adjust? She's always been opposed to the halfway mark or transition of transgendered relationships. Jessica was never good with change. Can she be honest with Christian and herself with all the time they've spent together? Staring into that beautiful face says yes every time. She's never been able to say no to Christian. But she's been lucky that she hasn't posed a question. 'I love you Mon Cher.'
Those three words made her smile. But she knew Jessica spoke from the heart in Espanol. She didn't reply on purpose. 'Te Amo Christian.' She could feel her face flush hearing those words. They laced fingers as they talked about plans for Jessica's return trip. The simple tracing of patterns on each others skin made her feel at ease. The small things are what Christian realizes she missed all along. She's never had a lover absentmindedly touch her. Every one of her lovers was methodical and deliberate. It made her feel inhibited when people couldn't touch her, just to touch her. Jessica is doing it without a thought to where they were or who saw them. All the questions of being able to give her up is bubbling to the surface. 'What's wrong Mon Ami?' She couldn't answer Jessica's question. She just pasted a smile on. Jessica kissed her softly on the lips. They notice the time. She paid the check in a rush to get Jessica on her flight. Christian loves the way she keeps a hand on her the whole ride back to the airport. They chat about mindless tasks that need to be done when Jessica gets back home.
Jessica is struggling to keep this as smooth as possible. She's always needed touch when she gets nervous. Finding themselves in silence once they reach the airport seems to put Jessica on high alert. Felt as if some sort of decision had to be made for both of them. Neither could seem to say what they were thinking. Jessica got antsy after getting her bags checked and ticket at the counter. She turns to see a blank expression on Christian's face. This expression is new to her. She couldn't find words to express herself in this moment. So much of this vacation was living in the moment. Now there were feelings, emotions and thoughts with consequences. What had they done to each other? What comes next now that the proverbial box has been opened? Nothing but silence and blank stares between them.
Christian couldn't fall apart in public or they'd both do something rash. "I love you Christian. You're the Omega to my Alpha. You've always been the weakness, my kryptonite. I'd give my last if it will make you happy. Just say the words and it's yours." Jessica said. This is the last thing she thought she would hear from her. The want, the need for those words has always been there. How does she ask for something she isn't sure of? She doesn't. She can't ask for any of this right now. To demand all at a time where their relationship is so volatile doesn't seem fair. Christian grabs Jessica by the hips. Pressing her thumbs into her bruises. Getting her undivided attention made her feel powerful. Feeling Jessica's fingers in her hair for that last kiss makes her burn. A kiss full of passion, teeth and moans. Christian paid no attention to the onlookers. Hearing her growl from the pressure on the bruises urged her on. They pressed together for what felt like an eternity. It was Christian who pulled back first. 'I can't ask you for what I am not certain of, Mon Cher. I can't ask you for more than a moment. I will not demand a love you've given so freely all of these years. Just hold on a bit longer for me. Can you do that?' She couldn't read the look on Jessica's face.
Jessica was expecting to stay. Expecting Christian to ask for the unthinkable. Knowing full well she was going to say yes to any request she would've made. This, this is a surprise. With those wonderful hands digging into her bruises from the night before, those magnificent eyes staring back into hers, those lips so soft against her own, the entire line of their bodies meeting, how does she walk away? She could only whisper the truth. "Mi corazon siempre te esperara" Pulling away at the sound of her flight boarding was the hardest thing she had to do. A softer kiss this time. "I'll see you later, Mi Amor." She turned to board her plane. No looking back, no turning around, no hesitation this time. Anything else would be the undoing of them both.
Christian took solace in her words. "My heart will always wait for you." She knew there would come a time when she would ask for her hearts desire. Now was not the time for it. Back to everyday life. The next few weeks were hard to get through. All of her friends and co-workers asked about Jessica. She pasted on a smile with a reply of some nicety. The truth was, she didn't know. She hadn't opened an email, answered a Skype call, nor text message from Jessica in weeks. She knew that this wasn't fair behavior. It's something she wouldn't accept from anyone else. So why was she doing it to the one person who loved her lock, stock and barrel? She needed to believe she could give her up. Needed to believe there was a world without her again. Yet, she was still here. Her friends were asking about her. Her local eatery was offering recipes that Jessica asked for while she was here. Even her therapist began to ask those uncomfortable questions about her. Fine! She called her on Skype.
Jessica lit up when she saw the call come in. The smile she gave when Christian's pretty face came across her screen could have lit up Las Vegas. Seeing Christian smile in kind had her heart doing cartwheels. She didn't push for reasons why she took so long to call. She just wanted to see her pretty face again. Hearing that voice say her name was more than enough to offer forgiveness. They caught up on work, friends and food. She finally got all the recipes she asked for. Dreading holidays made her ask if Christian had plans for the coming months. Finding her unresponsive made her push a little. "Christian, you can't keep this silence. You have to talk to me some time. We can't go on pretending nothing has changed." She saw her nod and pull her hair into a pony tail. Seems as if she was getting ready to run a marathon. Still, she offered nothing of any substance to the conversation. Jessica switched gears entirely. "What color panties are you wearing?" Christian was obviously thrown off guard the way she answered so quickly. Jessica kept the same line of questions going until she got the full blush she loved so much. Finally the smile came from her. The full, bright and happy grin she hoped for came full screen. Now she had her Christian again. Hopefully she would talk to her the way they both needed. For now, she'd settle for the superficial.
Christian knew she was being distant. Their wasn't a real reason for her odd behavior. She knew she was behaving badly, childish. So why keep this space between them. She started to tell Jessica of all the people asking after her. Filled her in about friends and co workers wondering when she'd visit again. Of course she didn't have holiday plans. The tangible pause showed on both of their faces. Christian had to own this moment or things were going to slide into a hole she couldn't dig herself out of. "You should check your email Mon Ami. I think your schedule will accommodate what I have in mind." The look of surprise on Jessica's face is priceless. It made the hesitation seem like a good idea after all. Watching her open the email then stare back at her through the monitor could have singed a lesser person where they sat. It wasn't what Christian thought would be her response. She refused to show weakness by squirming in her seat. The decision had been made. She knew Jessica wouldn't cancel the tickets. She would change dates if necessary.
She wasn't happy about plans being made without her. No matter how generous the offer was from her firecracker. That was the other problem. She wasn't a fan of anyone paying for her to do anything. Christian knew full well she wouldn't be happy about this gift. She also knew that she wouldn't waste the money in trying to return nor cancel the tickets. "Seems like you forgot the hotel reservations Christian." She watched her go wide eyed and flushed to angry in less than 10 seconds. Seems they both could push buttons from miles away. Jessica didn't like the look of hurt she put on her face. "Lo siento Mi Amor. That wasn't fair of me. It is inexcusable. I beg forgiveness." She watched Christian go pale then nod. They needed to find level ground. This behavior is only going to get worse if they don't work things out. Jessica pulled up her calendar to sync with Christian's. They settled on a set of dates that would cover their favorite holiday while spreading out to the ones they didn't. "I have some things to settle up here. Don't let it go so long until the next time that I see your face Christian." She blew her a kiss. Watching her catch it to save for later made her smile. Getting back into her day isn't going to happen. Immersing herself into work might be the only solution for the day. There's been so much to think through. So many things she's had to work through on a personal level. Planning a trip back to Canada was far from her mind. Now it was staring her in the face.
Months have gone by since they've been together. Christian made a point to make internet calls, text and email Jessica on a more regular basis. The tension between them had eased. The question now, How do I hold onto her? Making the decision to be with her is the hardest thing right now. Didn't I do that when I brought her to work? Introducing her to my friends and my new way of life here was essentially asking her to make the move. The sex between them has always been earth shaking, body wracking and mind blowing. Did her staying hinge on genitalia? Something she never considered as she hadn't planned on anything changing between them until surgery was complete. That moment has come and gone. After realizing this moment with her could alter that decision completely made Christian uneasy at first. Now, Now she realizes that Jessica has always accepted her/him. How do they proceed? She knew that she would be asking to change her entire world. It seems she should extend the same olive branch. It took a lot of soul searching to even think of them as a possibility. Now she can't shake the idea of the two of them as one entity.
Jessica couldn't wait to see her. Hoping for a heart to heart talk that will lead to the answers they both needed. Any forward movement between them would require a lot of honesty and open communication. How do they get there when they can't be in the same room together. The urge to touch and be touched by the other always clouded their judgement. The flight seems to be dragging on for an eternity. So much she wants to say when she sees Christian. All of the things swimming in her head and heart for months now seem to be swelling to a breaking point. Trying to keep calm is proving to be a fruitless task. The books she brought with weren't holding her attention. It was the first time she was thankful for the nosy passenger next to her. She decided to chat with her.
Christian found herself pacing at the airport. Checking the monitor repeatedly to see if the flight has landed yet. The clerk is staring at her. She was so anxious that she didn't bother to give a snarky remark. Angrily answering her cellular made her realize how wound up she was. After multiple apologies to her coworker she hung up the phone. "Hola, Mi Amor." She spun around to see Jessica smiling at her. Christian felt her chest loosen up and lungs breathe easier. She didn't realize how tense she'd been waiting for her to get here. The kiss she gave Jessica was filled with so much emotion. "I'm breathless and head spun." Christian couldn't keep this smile to herself. She could feel the heat flush all over her body. Normally she's reserved in public. Something about Jessica made her pour everything out no matter where they were. It's always been that way. She linked fingers with Jessica as they headed out of the airport.
Jessica loved that smile pasted on her friends face. It was so good to see her happy after such turmoil between them the last few months. That kiss, oh wow, that kiss! She had her rocked in a matter of moments with those full beautiful lips. She wasn't expecting that kind of welcome after their last day together. But the feel of their hands together made it all feel so natural. Jessica had to remind herself to stay focused until they talked. But the way her hips moved, those heels, her hair in the breeze.... Christian has always been a sight for sore eyes. All of that curly red hair aflame with every stride on stilettos is breath taking. How on earth is she going to maintain until they had time to discuss everything? Deep breaths Jessica, deep breaths and keep a safe distance. 'What's wrong Mon Cher? You seem to be distracted." Jessica couldn't hear a word those lips were saying to her. Both of her hands found their way into Christian's hair. The kiss she stole from her was so full of heat. She pulled back to see her lover's eyes still closed. Her lips were bruised and parted. Jessica finally admitted to herself there isn't a way for them to do this "easy". This is going to hurt. Their will be bruises and scars left behind after this visit. Jessica kissed her once more softer than the first time. Watching her face go soft put her at ease. She couldn't say why. Especially knowing this could be the end of them. Maybe that's why she finally found peace.
Christian couldn't believe how thrown off she'd become. After seeing Jessica beside her with a face of satisfaction, nothing else mattered. She tugged her along to the car. They talked about everything as if they hadn't kept contact over the last few months. It felt good to slip back into old habits. She also realized that they couldn't ignore everything that stared at them the last time. For now, she just squeezed her lovers hand tighter. They'll have more time for that later. Knowing Jessica, it wouldn't be too much later. 'What would you like to do first beautiful?' She saw the eye brow wag and wicked grin on her face. She could only laugh. Jessica is always in the mood for hanky panky. No she's always up for rough and ready sex. Christian giggled and rephrased the question. 'Are you ready for food or just head back to the house to unpack and relax?' They settled on a new restaurant on the way home.
Jessica is so excited about the new food. All other matters just slip her mind completely. Watching her across the table has always put a smile on her face. Today she can't help but ogle her. She saw the red creep up on her skin. Something about making her flush and uncomfortable turned her on every time. Today it isn't about the end goal of sex though. She wanted to see her sweat just because she could. This is something Jessica has to curb. It's behavior she had trouble controlling. The two of them had too much at stake to be treating her like this right now. She caught herself frowning and changed tactics. "Mi Amor, Mi Vida, Mi Corazon..." Christian smiled ear to ear at the words. "Tell me why we're here." She saw her lover thrown off course. Yes, this is the time. Maybe the place was a bad choice. But, Jessica knew that as long as they were within reach of each other, nothing was going to be said. The table was a small but effective distance for both of them.
Christian was confused by her quick transition. Of all the times to start *the talk* she chooses now? I guess it's best before their naked and spent in whatever room they happen to land in at home. They've never been good once they could touch the other. Something about their physical chemistry kept them on the ledge. Just waiting for the free fall of love without thinking of the consequences. That is something they need to deal with too. Or do they? If the touch they bring to each other is so magnetic, there isn't a reason to fix it. 'We are here to feed you. Here to enjoy the new smells, tastes and sights together. Here to keep that space you value so much just to talk. Right?' She watched her nod slowly. So it begins... Christian just braced for whatever may come.
Jessica had to know first if she was holding Christian back from finishing her process and the final surgery. To her surprise Christian told her that she was always at odds with doing it. Something inherently male about losing it always made her reschedule. She listened to Christian lay out all the reasons that kept her in therapy dealing with the finality of her decision. She never knew that meeting her in college is why she hadn't started the transition earlier. It put a different perspective on how she moved forward. Learning how the impotence, so to speak, had been an unhealthy way to come to a conclusion and make a new date for surgery. Christian had never gotten an erection with other women. It's what made her believe it was finally time to finish what she'd started. So it wasn't her visit that necessarily made her change gears. Jessica had to know where that left her now. So much had changed and stayed the same between them. But how does she ask what she really wants to know.
Christian felt like Jessica wasn't asking what she really wanted to know. 'What you really want to know is why I didn't tell you.' She watched Jessica sit back in her chair with that poker face. She hates this expression. She'd never been able to read what she was feeling nor thinking. 'So much changed when I met you. I'd never had anyone love me the way you do. No one ever took me whole as a friend. Absolutely no one found me attractive enough to touch me the way you do. I'd always known it wasn't the right skin to be in. But all of a sudden you're in front of me. Asking for more. More of who I am. How I got here? Where I want to go? All the while trying to help me get there. I've never been shown that level of acceptance from anyone.' She felt out of breath but couldn't stop now. 'Jessica, you made me feel good. Your touch helped me find a sexuality I didn't know I had. Suddenly everything seemed like it was an illusion. Maybe I am making a hasty decision.' Still she has her poker face on. Christian hated this but waited for something. Her heart racing just watching Jessica's face.
"So I was the reason you changed your mind all of those years ago?" When Christian just nodded, she pressed further. "Here we are now. You bring me back into your world just like we met as teenagers. How am I not supposed to believe I am not the reason for you stalling again? How am I supposed to believe you now. I feel lied to. I feel like you should have trusted me then as you say you do now. Yet, you waited. Why Christian, straight answer?" Watching her go cold wasn't what she wanted. This is the same conversation as before. She had to tell her the truth. She was expecting so much more from this red head. A friend who'd seen her soul. Christian had to know this wasn't enough.
Christian had to give up everything. Being in public put a certain pressure on her she wasn't ready for. But Jessica isn't going to let this go. 'I fell for you Jessica. I fell hard. I found myself in love with you. I didn't know what to do with it. You were so different from all of the things I thought I wanted. You were never interested in the same things for the long term. I knew I'd never have you for very long. Why would I tell you how much I wanted to change? Once we moved away, I figured things would wane. We'd go on with our journey with new people and places.' She rambled on as Jessica stares at her with that blank face. 'I was afraid Jessica. Plain and simple. I was afraid. We were never supposed to get so close. We were never supposed to matter. We weren't supposed to last this long.' Silence was so heavy between them.
"Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda Christian. We are here now. Right here. Right now. What do you want from me?" Jessica watched all of that porcelain skin get even whiter. She knew she wasn't being fair to her friend, her lover, Her Christian. Their love was never fair or easy. No reason to change that now. The need to touch her was overwhelming. The fact she ached to touch Her Christian just to soothe her was a sign of trouble. Her own heart was betraying common sense right now. Being able to stay in her chair was the hardest thing to do right now. Waiting for her to answer had her heart pounding in her ears. "Christian, what do you want from me?"
Feeling cornered in this public place had Christian stalling. There were so many things she had planned to say. All the right words rehearsed over and over again are all gone. 'I want you Jessica. I want your dreams, goals and mistakes. I want to share my morning sun and puddle jumps with you. I want to taste the ocean on you skin every time you dive in. I want to feel you beside me snoring. I want to steal every breath from you when we connect. I want to make your heart stop with just a touch of my fingers. I want it all.' Pausing long enough to see Jessica go pale. The sense of power she felt rushing through her was exhilarating. The whole thing could blow up with one word or look from her. She couldn't read Jessica's face or her body language. Nothing felt right in this moment. Then she came to kneel beside her chair. The kiss was soft and slow. The feel of Jessica's hands in her hair, the tenderness of her lips had Christian in a daze. Breathless and panting she sat back as she took her chair again.
'Now that didn't answer the young lady's question did it?' The old woman sitting at the next table added her two cents. Jessica couldn't help but smirk at her statement. "Mi amor, how long do I have?" She watched the flushed ginger take a moment to answer and hesitate. 'With the morning sun. I will wait until then.' They both turned to the old woman who gave a nod of approval. They both laughed and finished their meal. Jessica wasn't quite sure what to do with the words she heard. Tenderness and love was all she could show her. There didn't seem to be words for how she was feeling. All of the emotion coming from Christian is something she'd dreamed of having one day. Yet she couldn't just find a way to say yes, I will stay. Yes, I am yours. Yes, I'll always be here. All the things she was more than willing to do on her last visit she is finding hard to do now. There didn't seem to be a tangible reason for stalling. Only way to figure it out is to go with the flow. The day could bring almost anything with a ginger by her side.
Christian planned out a day of art museums and small shops. Knowing Jessica's love of small things made it easy to plan a day trip. Seeing her happy wondering through shops and galleries. She never tired of watching her touch everything. Knowing what that inquisitive touch feels like stirred something within her. Pushing it aside, they spend the day filled with trinkets and fresh flowers. Watching Jessica pause at a pastry window long enough to gasp made Christian impulsive. She dragged her inside to get whatever she wanted. A medium sized box and giggles later found them in a park on a bench under the sun. She watches Jessica lick the creamy filling, and glaze from her dessert. And there it was again. Christian couldn't ignore it this time. Something about her made (him) stand at attention. No other woman has ever gotten an erection from her. Because she was no longer him. Or so she thought. All Christian knew is in this moment, her Amazon goddess had a hold on her. Before she could take another bite of her delicacy, Christian kissed her. A soft lick to her full lower lip. She felt her breath hitch. Keeping it light and slightly distant. Christian traced the line of her lips. Seeing her tremble at the touch makes her bolder. She put her dessert back in the box. Holding onto Jessica's hands in her lap. She didn't want to close the distance just yet. Pressing her lips lightly against Jessica's. Pulling just out of reach when she tried to get closer. Seeing the goose bumps on her cleavage started the twitch again. 'Mon Ami, we should get back to the car." The dazed look and mutual nod made Christian laugh.
Jessica felt light headed and giddy. She's never been kissed like that before. Being led by her lover on cloud nine couldn't have been a better place to be right then. Still in a daze by the time they hit the parking lot. She didn't resist being pinned against the car. Hearing urgent words in French didn't ground her reality. It wasn't until Christian pressed into her that she came to. She reached behind her to open the back door. The two of them fell in giggling. The heavy weight of Christian against her belly made her hungry. She couldn't resist rocking her hips. Grinding into her lover always yielded groans. She loved that control over him. Wait....no... She went still. 'Don't stop my love. I know what you're thinking. Don't stop.' Jessica reached up for a kiss. They fell into the seats again with soft moans and sighs. Jessica lifted her dress higher to feel Christian's skin on hers. She just had to have all of "Her Christian" right now. She reached between them to find what she wanted. Slipping all of this beautiful uncut woman inside her made her cry out.
Christian had to cover her mouth quickly. She smiled down at her impatient lover. Her eyes startled at being silenced. She pushed all the way inside her. Seeing her eyes roll back pushed a button. She held still to feel her walls twitch while being filled. She whimpered as if begging for more. Christian gave a wicked grin before she pulled back ever so slowly. Jessica shuddered beneath her. Oh this sensation was new and thrilling. Worry that the end was near made Christian change tact. She reared back and pounded her hard and fast. The sharp pain of Jessica biting on her fingers pushed her on. The pace was fast, furious and in broad daylight. The feel of her walls engulfing her brought her to the brink. Looking down, found Jessica shaking and clawing at her free arm. 'Are you ready my love?' Jessica didn't have to do anything. But the clenching of her pussy answered the call. Christian pushed into her hard and deep sending a gush of her lover all over the back seat. Christian pulled out to find her tits. But Jessica came up on her elbows to take her load mouth wide open.. Christian loves the sight of her beneath, hungry for every drop to be spilled on her tongue. She went off like a rocket on her pink tongue. Jessica lapped it all up and sucked her clean. Breathless they fell back down. Lingering kisses, caresses and stroking made them purr like cats. 'We should go. Its about time for people to be done with their day.' She left Jessica in the back seat as she shook her skirt and rounded the car to drive home.
Jessica drifted off to sleep on the ride back. She felt like a cat after a full belly of cream laying in the sun. Gathering up all of her bags from the day seems so challenging. She hears Christian chuckling at her predicament. Not to be shown up she gets the gumption to get everything to the door on her own. She waited for the door to be opened. Tapping her foot in a pretense of impatience. Christian finally let her in where she dropped everything at the front door. She babbled on about their day as she undressed piece by piece through the rooms. She was naked in the bedroom when she spotted her favorite Frida Kahlo painting above the bed. She reached out for it as she climbed in bed. That's when she noticed the Rivera painting hanging above a new office space in the corner of the bedroom. Jessica felt so exposed. She has stared at these images for years. Never spending the money on a replica let alone the originals and here they are. She curled up in the sheets to sit and stare. She never notices Christian crawling in bed behind her. "¿Cómo, cuándo, por qué mi amor? ¿Por qué esto para mí?"
'The how isn't the point. The when isn't important. And you know why Mon Ami. Because I love you.' The look on her face was priceless. She'd fallen in love with Diego's ;Calla lily; as a child. The way she spoke of it in college made her inner child come out. The wonder on her face now is the same as then. Every penny was well spent in this moment. Her silence, sheer reverence, made this gift special for Christian. She's always been the one to come up with the thoughtful moments of old. Things they'd talked about weeks, months or years prior, she had a way of bringing to fruition. Knowing she could be still was worth every dime. She lay back on he bed, pulling Jessica with her. She never took her eyes off the wall. 'The space is for you Mon Ami. It's equipped with every gadget you've oohed and ahhed over since I've known you.' Christian heard her breath hitch again. Hoping it wasn't for tears she wrapped arms around her. The feel of her full figure was satisfying. There was such substance to her that other women never had. Holding onto her made the world softer somehow.
"Christian I can't. I don't.... Oh my, no words. We haven't talked about anything. We.." She stopped there. Hearing those words come from her lips made her stop and think. She's already put herself here. Yet she's trying to find ways to say no to all of this happiness being offered. What on earth is she thinking? She's never been happier with her Christian, then and now. "I love it. It's beautiful. Thank you so much." The kisses laid on her shoulders were soft. She moved her hair to feel those lips on her neck. The warmth of love that filled the room set her skin on fire. Being nestled into the arms of her lover made everything feel upside down. All of the things she has ever wanted were right here in this room. Why can't she be still in this moment? Her mind is racing a million miles per hour. Feeling Christian's breath on her skin made goosebumps rise along her skin. Her teeth sinking into her shoulder turned her to jelly. "I can't think when you do that." Another bite to the nape of her neck had her creaming between the thighs. "I can't see clearly Christian." The third bite harder than before just below the second. Jessica's whole body shook from orgasm.
Christian loves the way her lover's body responds to her touch. Having those heavy globes in her hands brought her to attention. Sliding her erection between the cheeks of this soaking wet girl made it impossible to back away. Feeling her entire body shake from just her bite pushed her for more. The slippery feel of her ass cheeks had her teetering on the edge. Just as she pulled back to slow down, Jessica rolled her hips. The grip of her ass then sliding over the head of her cock nearly caused an eruption. Christian took it slow as she pushed all the way into her quivering lover. Jessica moved her hands to pinch her nipples between the knuckles. Christian held still while she rocked her hips at a medium pace that made them both happy. Feeling her bare down and roll them both on their backs brought the end near. She took on the weight of her lover while she rolled her hips to get a faster rhythm.
Jessica loved the feel of her ass being filled by Christian. The feel of her nipples hard against her back brought an interesting contrast she'd never noticed before. She braced her elbows to take her own weight. Lifting her hips to pump her ass along her shaft as fast as she could. Christian reached in front of her to squeeze her tits. 'You like me filling your hole don't you?' She could only whimper in response. She felt Christian's fingers on her clit working feverishly to bring them to a fever pitch. 'Who am I?' Jessica could barely take in air to answer. "Christian." came softly from her lips. Feeling her head jerked back by her hair she hears, 'Who am I?' Jessica came in a gush from the aggressive move. Still she couldn't answer. 'You're a dirty whore letting me fuck your ass like this aren't you?' Jessica felt the heat across her skin and smile brighten her face. "Yes. Fuck me until I pass out." She felt Christian's arms around her waist. She came off her elbows. When they rolled onto her belly she came again.
Christian loved the feel of her juices flowing down onto her cock and balls. She pumped fast and hard into Jessica's ass. The feel of her body trembling from another orgasm on the way egged her on. 'You don't deserve my cum.' She pulled back to the tip of her cock. The look on her lovers face was priceless. She watched her rear up to take all of her back in. She pushed back on her cock like a starved nympho. Christian smacked her ass repeatedly. 'You're an ass fucking whore. Take my cum from me if you can.' She pounded so hard onto her cock she nearly toppled backward. When she reached back to tug lightly on her balls, she groaned in delight. She pushed Jessica into the bed as the volcano neared eruption. Rushing to the edge of the bed to shove her cock in her lover's mouth. 'Let me fuck your face. Now!' Jessica opened up easily to gag on her cock. 'You're a cum guzzling slut. I am going to fill your mouth.' Looking down into those eyes full of mischief made her smile.
Jessica loved the feel of Christian so urgent in her mouth. She never talked to her this way before. Nothing was going to stop her from finishing this out. Stroking her balls, feeling them near the brink. Jessica slid a finger into Christians ass. Milking her prostate for the inevitable. Shoving all of her lover down her throat to get every last drop of her cum. Christian growled so loudly she had to look up. No pain on that beautiful face. Just hard nipples, sweaty body and a twisted expression of orgasm. Once Jessica had milked her cock for the last drop she rolled to the center of the bed. Christian collapsed in a heap beside her. She fell fast asleep with the panting sounds of her lover beside her.
Christian pulled up the covers over them both. They melded together as she slid in behind her. So natural after all these years. They still love, lust and sleep together like the first night they became lovers. She knew they would need to talk about the meaty issues. But for now, a nap will do them both good. Spreading her locks over the pillows so she could spoon her seems like an everyday occurrence. Christian thought about all the things that have led them to this moment. So clouded by the smell of her. She kissed the marks her biting left behind. Jessica cooed softly from the touch. Christian knew if she didn't get everything out before the day was over. They would not recover if she decides to leave. Jessica began to snore as only she can. Drifting off with the rumble of her lover kept a smile on her face.
Jessica woke to the sun already set and wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. Stretching out made her remember how well she was used. Crawling out of bed to the shower took more effort than necessary. The hot water beating on sore muscles helped her think. Christian probably had the rest of their evening planned already. Finding all of her creams and toiletries on the counter gave her pause. She isn't used to having someone unpack for her. The reality is she needed it done and her lover took care of it. It still made her think beyond her next moment. Wrapping up her hair in a towel to find something simple to put on. She opened her luggage to find it empty. She turns to see all of the closet doors are gone. Her things are hanging at the end. She frowned. 'You're being spoiled. And you can only think about how you didn't do it yourself.' She turned to see her ginger watching quietly behind her. Her words are correct. So she slips into a halter top and skirt to keep from discussing anything. 'Dinner is ready Mon Ami, whenever you are.' Jessica heard her as she walked back to the kitchen. Feeling selfish about everything that's happened had her lowered. So long she's taken care of herself. The idea of not doing the simple things made her uneasy. Why couldn't she take this for what it is, love.
Watching her sit down to dinner feels normal. Christian is still apprehensive of these small moments. Not being sure if the old days are blending into today to create a false reality. Knowing Jessica is only thinking in the moment makes it even harder to be with her. So much is being gambled on in the last 24 hours. "You're too quiet baby. What's up?" Christian is startled by her words. 'Just thoughts of tomorrow.' The tension seems to be growing with the silence between them. Or it was nerves getting the best of her. Either way it isn't making the mood any easier. Keeping her hands busy with setting the table would steady her a little bit. Thoughts of everything crashing, burning and crumbling in the next few hours had her off kilter. She didn't notice Jessica walk up behind her. Feeling her arms wrap around her waist was like a blanket. Listening to her whisper words of love is soothing and stinging. She turned in her embrace so she could see those nut brown eyes. "There's so much happening for both of us. Words fail me Mon Ami. The logistics of transplanting are simple enough. All the things we want in life could be done side by side. All of my current goals could be achieved here with you. The question is if you can reach all of yours. Can you?" Christian considered her words. It was a thought that never crossed her mind. Only one piece of her puzzle had been in limbo. So much of who and what she has become then is exactly where she is now. Love is the only missing piece for her. Would asking for monogamy and children change everything for them? 'Would you give me one of my dreams? Just one Jessica.'
She knew she was in for a ride by the look on her lovers face. Isn't that why she is here now. "Ask for what your heart desires Christian." All of the things that they agree on, disagree on or find together could bind them or separate them permanently. None of those ideas is appealing in the moment. But she did shorten her time here by saying she'd talk with the setting sun. Everything had to be asked and answered. The first few requests Christian made were easy to say yes. Even as the conversation carried on over dinner it felt natural. Jessica couldn't find a reason to say no to anything she wants. 'I decided not to follow through with the final surgery.' Jessica went still as she listened to her reasoning. 'After talking to my theraist about your visits. It doesn't feel right. Could I change my mind in ten years? I am not sure. But, what I do know is in the years of the process I was apprehensive to finish this task. Now that I've had time with you again, there is a piece of me that feels complete. I feel like I could be whole as the way things stand with me physically. Even if you were to leave tomorrow. I think I could do this again..' Jessica was happy that'd she'd been working through this with her therapist. It is one of the things that worried her the most when she left last time. So why did it feel like she has a bomb yet to drop? 'Now you're wondering what's coming next?' Jessica could only nod with a doe eyed expression. 'I'm prepared for you to say no and fight me on the idea of children. I know at this point in our lives it's not optimal. I also realize you wouldn't even consider it for other reasons. So I won't even ask.' The weight lifted from Jessica's chest felt good. It was the one thing she knew that would end them. It simply isn't an option for her. THe last thing she would do is deny Christian that piece of happiness if it became a must. She smiled back at her red head. 'What my heart desires is having you beside me every night. I want to know when I come home from a trip that it's you I find snoring. The only hand holding yours should be mine. I am asking for all of you Jessica. I don't want to share any of you.' Jessica couldn't stop the fork from clanging on the dinner plate. She felt her stomach drop with nausea following quickly. All of the color drained from her face. In that moment she couldn't move. It was the last thing she was expecting her Christian to ask of her. She could hear the crickets chirping inside her own head. Of all the times not to have a quick come back, this was not the one. Paralyzed in her seat with so much tension in the air. The part that is confusing her the most is she can't say no automatically. The idea of monogamy has always yielded a big hell no to anyone who asked. But she was sitting here with Her Christian unable to answer. "Christian. Do you understand what you're asking me? A lifetime of a cat in heat. I am not an easy lover when I am in need. I am pushy and aggressive when I don't get what I want nor need. I can be downright bratty when I want to be touched. It's damaged so many of my relaionships. It's still not something I am willing to change on this subject. I require touch, sex and intimacy. I require the words and actions of a lover at least 80% of the time. I am more than willing to take every ounce of affection you give me then ask for more."
Christian watched the wheels turn, expressions jumble and the sternness of her lovers voice. She knew this would be the one sticking point for Jessica. 'Baby, we've never had a problem sexually. In fact you're the only one who has taken all of me without complaint. How could what I am asking for be that hard for you.'Watching Jessica take time to answer made her forget the dessert burning in the oven. Smoke detectors silenced and deserts ruined had Christian feeling like it was a metaphor for their relationship. Going down in flames and burnt to a crisp. She tossed everything in the trash. Before she could turn to open the fridge, Jessica was in front of the doors.
"I can see my tomorrow in your eyes. Your kiss has always made my heart race. The touch of your hands on my skin set me on fire. When we connect, I'm lost in everything that is you. I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'd give my last breath for you. What I want most in this world is happiness. If we can achieve it together, the world is ours." Jessica couldn't stand the blank expression and sheet white color on her lover. "Ask yourself if you can handle my libido full time. Be honest with me. Can you do this?" Tracing the line of her lower lip with the last question had Christian pulling away.
Christian didn't know the answer. Being honest wasn't the issue. Believing they had everything it takes to make it work is what matters. Being sincere about the long term of their relationship was easy without this portion. Now she had to ask herself, Can I do this long-term? Frighteningly, an answer wasn't on the tip of her tongue. She stared into the eyes of the one she wanted. She could see so much more than what they are to each other now. The possibilities were endless together. Keeping her happy is usually the easiest thing to do. The truth is, she's never had the hurdle of being her only sex partner. The years haven't slowed her down much. At every encounter they've drained each other dry. The reality of their predicament started to set in. 'Can I do this with her?' Still no immediate answer. As long as they weren't touching, she thought a clear path would show itself. Christian feels more uncertain than before.
Jessica was at a loss. Clearing the table seems like the only thing to do. The silence was maddening. This isn't what she planned. A few weeks of laughter and love with Her was all she wanted. Now they're deciding tomorrow in a moment's notice. Could she curb her libido for this love? Is there a compromise here for them to work out? Why can't she see beyond the sex in this relationship? The truth is, everything fits for them already. Sex is the only divider . Washing the dishes while listening to Christian play the piano helped smooth the nerves. She's barefoot in her lover's kitchen. Worrying about where they're going next has her consumed. The blues tune playing in the other room brings out her voice. She dries her hands as she walks to the day room. Sitting beside Christian at the piano made her heart leap. Seeing her smile back as she finishes the song. The light bulb went off for her. "Yes. I'm saying yes, Mi Vida. Be careful with me. I am fragile. My desire for you wont wane. Are you prepared for this journey with me? Mi corazon en sus manos."
Christian cupped her face gently. Staring into those nut brown eyes made her feel at home. She always loved the line of Jessica's full lips. Tracing them with her thumbs made Jessica smile. Stroking her cheeks softly as she thought through her question. The truth is that she isnt prepared. All of this is brand new and exciting. Reality is also this could become too much. 'I want to see you beside me in the morning. I need to feel your warmth in my bed. I even expect to pick up your clothes off the floor every time I walk in the door.' Christian pulled her close for a soft kiss. Feeling the sigh escape her lover's lips pushed her to take more. The kiss turned rough with teeth and hands fisted in her hair. Seeing Jessica breathless with bruised lips in the palms of her hands made her take that leap. 'I'm ready to love you for as long as I am able. This is going to hurt. This won't be easy. We're going to do this together.' Jessica nodded slowly.
Being led to the bathroom and undressed by Christian was confusing. Jessica waited to see what was next. Enjoying the touch and smell of her ginger had her reeling. The slow tracing of lines on her bare skin sent chills all over. All the sensations were light and subtle. Something neither of them is used to. She watches Christian start the shower then undress herself. The sight of her naked body caused throbbing in her heart and below. When she held out a hand as she stepped in the shower her heart caught fire. Those eyes were full of desire. The way Christian looks at her makes her feel beautiful. Everything changed once she was in the tile with her lover. The force of her kiss as she pressed her into the wall is intense. Both of Christian's hands wrapped in her locks with the cold tile behind made her weak in the knees. There's no way she's being taken over so easily.
The growl that came from her had Christian pausing. Jessica dug her nails into her hips as she bit into her lip. The pain is exquisite. Her hands were feverish all over. As if jessica tried to touch her all at once. Her nipples hardening against her own is electrifying. Both of her hands found their way to her cock. Roles reveresed as she is pressed into the cold tile. Her tongue and lips never broke the kiss. The slow firm grasp Jessica had on her brought out a growl. She took ahold of Jessica's wrists to wrestle her back against the wall. The lines of their bodies meeting as one. 'Look at me Mon Cher.' When she didn't get what she wanted, she put pressure on her wrists. 'Look at me Jessica.' She looked up slowly. Christian could see the vulnerability in that gaze. 'Tell me why you're here. Tell me the truth.'
Jessica felt trapped. The words didn't seem to come for her so easily. Every attempt at turning away was met with a bite to her neck, lips and shoulders. The pain is so pleasurable but a means to an end. "The truth is I've fallen for you again. I'm afraid you'll grow weary of me and let go. I'll be a burden or obligation that you run from. Im scared you're not going to love me at the end of this moment. So I'm here now to take everything you can give me." When she saw the shock on Her Christian's face, she looked away. This time, there was no pain. Just the tender touch at her chin bringing them back eye to eye. Christian lifted her leg to wrap around her hip. Her other hand at the nape of her neck.
Christian didn't have a reply. Didn't understand the words being spoken. 'Hold on Jessica. Just grab hold of me and dont let go.' She slipped inside her slowly. Watching the pleasure take over in Jessica's eyes is like lightening in her veins. She took her time making love to her. Keeping eye contact so she could watch the orgasm build. When her lovers lips started to tremble, so did the walls of her pussy. Christian pushed into her deep and slow to make it last longer. Never letting her out of this grip. It was torture for them both. But she had to see her just once, eyes wide open. Jessica grabbed a fistful of hair just as she neared her peak. They were intertwined in a passionate moment that left them both shaking and bruised. Not being able to hold back any longer, Christian dug deep. Pounding her lover into the wall until she cried out her name.
Jessica couldn't believe shed said it. But the waves of orgasm that washed over her kept her off kilter. The feel of Christian inside her while looking into her soul shook her to the core. Thats when she pulled back. Her lover turned her forcefully around. Pulling on her hips to enter her from behind. She pushed into her dripping hole again. Her nipples aching against the tile. 'Hold on Jessica. ' She was stuck in that moment. The sensations were intoxicating. The feel of her lover pounding into her fast and hard had another eruption. 'One more time Mon Cher. Give me all of you.' Jessica let go. Her entire body rocked as Christian drilled her under the hot spray of the shower. She heard herself call out Christian's name again.
Christian spilled inside her. Both of them slumpt against the wall under the hot spray. They were unsteady on their feet as they tried to separate. They toweled off in silence. Neither of them could look at the other. Christian led her back to bed. She mumbled something about desert. She could only smile as she pulled the covers over her. Jessica was fast asleep. Now she has to decide what to do with the love she asked for, No. Demanded this love from Jessica. She had the answer.
Jessica woke to the sun and the smell of waffles. The reality of her decision is starting to sink in. She said yes. Yes to staying here with Christian. Yes to changing everything to be with Her. She called out her name during sex. Nothing left to do but hold on tight and see how it goes. Stretching out to find her robe she saw 'it'. Wiggling her fingers in disbelief. Jessica had to rub her eyes and look at her hand again. She rolled back under the covers to look at it closely. As if she were still dreaming and it would disappear when she pulled back the covers again. No, its still there! Christian remembered after all these years. A ring of rubies and peridot with a two carat sapphire set in platinum. She dreamed of it years ago. A design she came up with as her ring. The one she'd put on and never take off again. The one! She couldn't hold back the tears.
Christian watched her from the doorway. She never intended to make her cry. She startled her when she kneeled by the bed. Stroking away her tears. 'My love, why arent you happy? Isn't this what you wanted.' Jessica nodded quietly with a doe eyed expression. 'Then why all the tears?' She couldn't answer. Christian kissed her lightly. 'Tell me why we're here.' Jessica reached out to Christian. "This is supposed to be the one. The last ring I ever put on, the One. Do you understand what you're doing here?" Christian smiled ear to ear. 'I'm loving you for as long as I'm able.'
